Bored out of my mind and falling slowly

hello. im bored out of my mind and fAlling slowly. i dont care anyMore. I dont care about school. I doNt care about my future. i dont care about anything except...weLl i cant tell you that. just knOw that it pretty much runs my life and it has for years. i dont know what to do about it. i cant get rid of it. tried many times. i cant stop it from growing. it grows anyway. and now it's starting to hurt and i just want it to go away. but at the same time i dont. its so close, so close to being done, oVer, finished, and maybe something grEat. but right now it's not and i'm impatient. i can't take it anymore. i'm falling slowly.